Work

I may have mentioned this before, but working at the VA guarantees you’ll never have a totally uneventful day.  Even though working in a hospital means being around many sick, grumpy patients, it is not without it’s moments of humor. Here are a few things that have made me chuckle over the last few months.

1.) So, per the typical protocol, the technician referred a patient to me for weight loss. I walked to the patient’s room, clipboard in hand with handouts ready to find him standing in his hospital gown beside his roommate’s bed  chatting away with the two other men in the room. I approach and ask if he was indeed Mr. X, to which he turns to me and joyously announces, “Are you here to see my groin?!?!?!” with a huge cheesy grin on his face! I was so tongue-tied and embarrassed I could only respond with a shocked, “Umm.. well… uh…. Nooo”. Then it got super awkward for a few more minutes as he tried to explain himself saying the last few young women who had come in had asked to see his groin (ie. check the status of his cardiac cath leg wound). Lol. That probably had to be one of the most awkward moments of my life.

2.) One patient was upset that he was getting sweet milk on his tray. I had no idea what sweet milk was other than, um.... chocolate milk? He patiently explained to me that sweet milk = regular milk and buttermilk =… well the opposite(?) of sweet milk. Ah, light bulb! It's shocking how many patients love buttermilk down here.

3.) Typical diet recall I hear everyday: “Well, for breakfast I eat sausage, bacon, eggs…” and everyday I have at least one patient ask me for sausage and/or bacon for breakfast EVERYDAY. I’m getting very good at saying, “N-O”. Haha.

4.) What the hell (pardon) is neckbone anyway?!?! And why in the world would you want to eat that?! So many guys like it! I can’t imagine there is anything worth eating off the neck of a chicken!

5.) Some of these guys seriously don’t ever get any fiber in there diets. How in the world do they stay regular?

6.) No, you will not die if you do not eat a serving of meat at all of your meals. A vegetarian meal of ravioli once a week will not kill you. I promise.

7.)  Yes, sea salt is still salt. So is seasoning salt. And garlic salt. And salt. Really sir, if the word “salt” appears anywhere in the name of the seasoning, it is indeed salt.

8.) “You’re not from around here are you…”

So, that’s just a brief glimpse of a few of the things I run into on a semi daily basis in this oh-so-glamorous job working for the government. It keeps life interesting. :-)

TGIF!!!!!